Thursday, August 17, 2006
self

i do not let my insecurities affect how i value others... or do i?

this was the question that made me ponder a little during my Christian Fellowship cell group discussion.

when it was my turn to voice out... i confessed that i always had issues with my weight.
being the biggest kid in class since a very young age , i grew up knowing how to adapt to situations even if its not in my favour.

i chose to hung out with people that accepted me for how i looked and "who i was".
i was firm in the role i played in most of my friendships as 'a great company' to my friends
or treated like ' just a friend' to close female friends being aware that appearance does counts.

maybe in that way... these insecurities of mine doesn't really influence me to put down anyone else.

However, i do not entertain bad sarcasm that sounds as if it was meant to insult me intentionally.

do i value myself any differently caused by these insecurities?
despite thinking that i might be suffering 'hyperhidrosis' and being an overweight young adult, i guess its inevitable that i'm not as confident as i should be or as comfortable with the way i am just yet.

but hey! not all big guys have the charm like i do ... neither do they have my unique characteristics..
even though it sounds like i'm stating that i am a superior overweight person
but yea, we'll pull up my esteem level step by step .