Sunday, July 30, 2006
thoughts

DOTA fans... i'm screwing you over this time.
so yeah, my disclaimer for dumb fuck DOTA fans out there : leave

call me an idiot, but i actually accepted my friends invitation to play DOTA with them. twice.
DOTA = D online game at the moment..
its overrated, its so called addictive and its played by geeks and non geeks around the world.
9/10 cyber cafe gamers will be playing DOTA.

hey, DOTA is not a bad game...
it requires skills, vision, perfect estimation, decision making and lots of practice.
but i have a problem with DOTA fans.
when every flippin gamer is playing that game, it suddenly seems that the constant growth of the fan base is now caused by 'peer pressure'. i swear, my friends thought i was weird because i have no idea what it should look like at first. son-of-a-guns.

they're addicted... spending almost 5-9 hours a day on DOTA.
and the worst part, DOTA doesn't end when they stop playing it. they talk about what just fucking happened that few hours ago after they come out from the cyber cafe.
its just so stupid!
you don't see me coming out from burger king describing how i just ate the friggin burger.
and DOTA fans act like they know it all.

in conclusion - stop ranting about anything that's related to DOTA when i'm having a conversation with you guys. i swear to God i'll whoop your retarded ass!


On 8:57 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, July 29, 2006
self

its been a rough few weeks for me.
petty matters that displease and annoy the hell out of me,
cynical thoughts and hypocritical acts,
especially screwed up situations that happened at the worst time.
so yeah, my week was pretty much a repetition of the events mentioned above.
not fun.

well, i'm already in the 2nd week of my new Semester... not a bad start.
i've actually had more fun in the first week of my 2nd semester than all my 3 weeks of holiday combined.

however, i'm currently setting a higher goal for myself. To Enter UWA next year.
University of Western Australia (Managerial accounting) to be exact...
that requires a minimum average of TER 85.30. therefore, i wouldn't expect a "study hard,play hard" semester ahead of me. no matter how impossible this goal may seem, i'm putting all my trust in Him. *smile* knowing i'm in deep shit.


On 11:24 PM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
self

slowly slipping away...


On 5:28 PM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
double standards.

final week and weekend before my class starts...
not very productive at all.

can't really remember what happened before thursday. experienced a minor hangover that very morning.
i registered and sign up for my classes in Uni on friday and watched pirates of carribean for the second time that day. awesome awesome ending!.
got myself a new pair of shoe from Sungai Wang on Saturday. a tiring day considering i had to go church before i even had time to go up my appartment to have a bath. so yea, fell flat at the end of the day.

Sunday... an interesting end to the day.
had the best conversation with Serena on the phone... God I miss her!
and...!
i finally watched the video captured of the girl fight. old news...i know.
guys can pull it off.
i've seen it, might have caused some of it, never involved in it.
girl fights are bloody annoying. i swear! i rather watch powerpuff girls. no joke.
to see uneducated, illiterate,tough girls trying to cause a fight... is worst enough...
to actually see them in one, one can trully say its idiotic.
Fine... correct me if i'm wrong.
there might be some really smart,sophisticated,intellectual girls also getting themself into fights... i wouldn't know.

just a short review on the fight that made me reach my conclusion.
3 girls bullying 1 victim.
3 bullies [tough, have the ability to raise their voice...repeating the same question over and over again, slaps hard, punch fast, got kicked out from school, 'dumbass' of our nation ]
1 victim [ quiet...that caused her all the pain eventually, took the slaps and punches really well, not the best in defending herself]

the end was the best part. few guys actually protected the victim after witnessing the whole thing after 4 minutes and one of the dude actually said... "enough, enough... maybe slap her one last time... and thats it! ". yeah... thats how it pretty much ended... with victim getting a final 'mutiple' slaps.

Sad... in Tawau. 1 girl was enough to whack 5 girls. again... not kidding. famous incident where a trained martial art student was being bullied and ended up kicking the bullies asses.


On 11:32 AM, Victor let go.
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Friday, July 21, 2006
self

a sudden burst of unnecessary emotions overflows

a feeling of being lost, being numb for too long, slowly losing my identity, and the feeling of defeat.
thinking about the time wasted, preventable hurts , permanent scars, joy that couldn't be shared with loved ones, failures in relationships, or the unwanted goodbyes had to be said to someone more than a friend.

reminiscing of the moments spent with loved ones and times when I made them proud of me.
reflecting and regreting...


On 9:25 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
chicken shit

maybe i was a coward...
maybe i was just afraid of facing that person...
maybe i fear that I'll be clueless of what to do and what to say if the person saw me...
maybe it was hate...who knows.

i just realized that my 'feeling of discomfort' tends to get the best of me.
moments of silence often occur even when i'm with my closest friend if there's a stranger around.
worst still, if i was directly uncomfortable with a particular individual...
my tolerance and patience level do compromise but often go against my will.

that.is.why.i...Flee.

when someone i'm uncomfortable with stays at my place, i'll do anything to avoid him.
simple... i flee. i'll shut myself in my room or get out from the house.

if i'm introduced or having a conversation with an individual that i'm uncomfortable with, i give a genuine looking smile and kindly excuse myself.

so here's the reason for this post.
i saw her. (the girl who does not have a problem of expecting help and ignoring you after that)
She was at the same appartment i was staying [she moved here. dang it!]
i was about to take the lift up and saw her waiting for the lift too.

Aw Hell No! there was no flippin' way i was going to get in the same lift as her. i could give her my genuine looking smile... but there was no escaping what could be the most uncomfortable lift up 10+ stories in my whole life. so i turned away... pretending to check my mail box till she entered the lift.

highlight of my day actually came before this incident.
which was meeting Ainaa who's back from Melbourne at the Mamak opposite my appartment.
it was really great seeing her again. and i got invited to her sister's wedding next month.
should be cool... to experience a Malay wedding for the very first time.


On 2:34 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, July 16, 2006
results.

sWeEeet!!!
that's right. i just got back my 1st semester results...
Management and Organizational Behaviour ( HD )
Business Law ( HD )
Business Stats ( HD )
Microeconomics ( C )

Praise the Lord! that's all for now.
can't wipe off the smirk on my face at the moment.
wouldn't mind sleeping immidiately with this feeling of joy that only could be expressed by 'jumping up and down'. i'm off. appreciate every single one that believed in me and rejoices with me now.


On 10:17 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, July 15, 2006
goodbye.

had a little farewell for Angela this afternoon.
a few of my secondary school friends gathered to meet her one last time before she left to Melbourne. she will trully be missed.
Angela was small but big in many other ways.
she was big in influencing her peers and speaking positively into their lives (including myself)
she was organized, disciplined, patient and loved by many.
don't think i'll find another 'chili padi' like her any time soon.








On 9:40 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
self

i hung out with Edward [Pal from Tawau, we go way back together] and his friend, Yap.. last night. i was quiet most of the time... listening to Edward and Yap's conversation mostly.
its easy to tell interest and sense a passion. They talked about cars. about the latest models, the customizations, the rims, the skirting, the lighting, the engine and what not.

'it is' an interesting topic ...a repeated one rather.
Edward had been ranting about cars since form 4, but i was never quite into it as he was...
i did not have that passion and interest.

I lack that... i'm still finding what i'm passionate about...
what brightens up my face when its brought to my attention...
what keeps me talking as if i was a professional when it is mentioned.

for some, they're passionate about photography.
these people love pictures. every part of the picture : the angle, the lighting, the sharpness...
every part of cameras as well : lense, flash, memory,weight... and so on.
their passion leads them to take pictures during their spare time and spend time on updating themselves of what's new.

i'll do anything for 'that' passion.
i'm still deciding what to major for my 2nd year in university.
its hard... knowing that this decision will affect my future and career path. it has to be based on interest and whether i excell at it.


On 7:06 PM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
Italia world champions

The Final between Les Blues and Casa Azzurri wasn't the most anticipated world cup finals but it was certainly a memorable one full of drama and intensity with unstoppable individuals against unbreakable team defence.


On 11:11 PM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, July 08, 2006
Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law.
if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
if you try to do something about it, it will still go wrong.
if you do not do anything about it, it will go wrong too.

yeah, it's a pretty simple law that explains how shit keeps happening to us.

i just collected my new ic a few days ago...
dang! what a day i had to go through just to go through a 2 minute process of collecting my ic.

i guess i slept a little later than i should the night before i wanted to collecy my ic at PJ state.
but yea, not-surprisingly...i woke up a little later than planned.
i reached the ' Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara' around 11.45am. and guess what they told me?

JPN employee: ya?
me : oh, i would like to collect my ic.
JPN employee: our system is down, and so happened we are closing early today at 12.
me : itsss... not 12 yet.
JPN employee: (smiles)... come back around 2.45.
me : alright. [dang it! RM10 taxi fair to PJ -state for no bloody reason]

so i went to Mid Valley to kill time [ originally plan was to chill there after i collected my ic]
anyways, spent RM5 to get there and pampered myself till 2.45 pm.
spent RM8 to get back to JPN... collected my ic... spent another RM10 to reach home.

there... everything that could go wrong eventually got screwed up and cost me an extra RM 18.

i think the Murphy Law applies to Big issues in our lives too rather than just the most annoying minor situations such as misplacing items that are most crucial at that moment of time.

relationships especially.
something that seemed special but wrong at the same time...
that relationship won't last long... it will go wrong. no doubt.
no point doing anything about it, not doing anything doesn't help either.
just let it go i suppose. it's for our own good.


On 2:52 PM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006
world cup

its pretty inevitable that the fever does get to you one way or another.
mine's Forza Azzurri aka Italia.

the first time i shouted and got up my arse celebrating a victory in a Mamak was when Italy won Australia with a late penalty.

today's match was flippin' amazing.

was rather hesitant to go down the Mamak at 2.30 am this morning [to grab good seats] but did it anyways. it wasn't necessary in the end as the crowd was less than usual [thanks to the early exit of Brazil, England and Argentina].

Semi Final : showdown between Italy and Germany.

Germany's World Cup dream was destroyed by 2 Italy goals at the end of extra-time as Fabio Grosso and Alessandro Del Piero struck to secure a place in the final.


Germany Fans full of hope and dreams.

The competition got tighter as the match progressed.

The 2 minutes of extra time. let the Madness begin.


i absolutely loved the fact that there were quite alot of Italy's fan down at my appartment.
the atmosfere during that 2 late goals were just down right crazy!
Fans screaming their hearts out [most probably out of the money they won from betting]
but still, strangers standing on their feet and cheering on Italy! it was a moment to remember.

got a simple sms from Richard Bain [fellow Forza Azzurri fan] after the match,
which was : oh my god!
what can i say..? he's right.


On 3:02 PM, Victor let go.
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