Tuesday, August 29, 2006

all that passion...
assurance is on my side
i am contented.
favour is what i lack.

prior to EMERGE - the biggest youth conference my church has organized...
i've been on fire... not just for God... but also excited about the event itself
(that will change the lives of many youths in our society)

i have invited friends, prayed for them, seeked for every opportunity to bring them to the house of the Lord
but most of them are not interested.
and by my own strength, there is nothing i can do to change the mindset of my friends.

my vision of having my friends saved... still stands! nothing is impossible with Him.

On 6:20 PM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

to have friends that laugh and cry together with you...that's called true friendship.

to have the same friends that we have fun with to be there when we're facing tough times...
it's something that one can only wish for as friends tend to disappoint us.

to have friends always willing to be there when we're in need... they are friends that we only go to if we have problems. no? why can't they be the ones people look for if they feel bored, if they wanted someone to party with or just to "hang out"?
if the most "happening" friends are the least appreciated...
and if the most appreciated friends are those who aren't " happening " enough.
i'm confused. how do we show our appreciation again?

On 12:15 AM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006
mid term break (part 2)

from Ipoh to Ansun...reached there around 7 in the morning.
had the best breakfast in years.
we had Loh Shi Fun at Rm1.90 per bowl [can't get that price here or anywhere i know of] ,
Ham Chim Peng and Yao Cha Kwai [ goes well with hot coffee]

to have such an early breakfast after such a long journey ... its inevitable that 9 of us was half awake only. but little that we know, i was to become the biggest joke (i prefer to call it entertainer) during breakfast.
The chair i sat on cracked and the next thing i know...i was flat (on my back) with everyone looking at me bursting with laughter (friends...) it seems i fell in slow motion with both my legs lifted right before i hit the ground. (my friends thought it was funny)
... but what was i suppose to do? i didn't want to crash my head on the ground . haha!

ANYWAYs... we slept till noon right after we "checked in " at Swee Sin's house. We celebrated his mom's birthday at night . it was a SeaFood feast [ too spicy for my liking ] that ended with all of us drinking white wine that we bought earlier for his mom.

on our way back today... we bought loads of Bidor's traditional biscuits. i enjoyed the road trip alot. hope that i'll be in one again soon.

On 5:33 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
mid term break (part 1)

currently blogging (not my favourite word) in an Ipoh cyber cafe.
first of all... i love it here ( i mean the cyber cafe) because of the 'comfortable to the max' sofa.
will be chillin' here till 4am ... then its back to my 'mid term break road trip with friends '.
next stop : Ansun- Perak (Swee Sin's hometown)

Yesterday 3 cars consisting of 9 coursemates of mine (including me) started our journey from Sunway to Ipoh in the afternoon.
9 guys "checked in" into Chi Hau's place after we reached and that was where we overnight last night.

the food here is not bad. stuff i tried so far includes "Chicken and TauGe Hor FuN", chicken rice, fried carot cake and old town's white coffee.

the day ended pretty well with 9 of us getting "high but not drunk" after our night out and woke up with a minor headache.

its 12.45am now (2nd night at Ipoh) and we are not planning to sleep tonight. chillin in the Cyber Cafe until we continue our journey ... crazy and wild friends i've made. lol

On 9:23 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, August 19, 2006
you're welcome


expect great things!
there are no words that i know of that can describe the overflowing presence of God and his power that will move throughout the nights to come.

On 10:02 AM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, August 17, 2006

i do not let my insecurities affect how i value others... or do i?

this was the question that made me ponder a little during my Christian Fellowship cell group discussion.

when it was my turn to voice out... i confessed that i always had issues with my weight.
being the biggest kid in class since a very young age , i grew up knowing how to adapt to situations even if its not in my favour.

i chose to hung out with people that accepted me for how i looked and "who i was".
i was firm in the role i played in most of my friendships as 'a great company' to my friends
or treated like ' just a friend' to close female friends being aware that appearance does counts.

maybe in that way... these insecurities of mine doesn't really influence me to put down anyone else.

However, i do not entertain bad sarcasm that sounds as if it was meant to insult me intentionally.

do i value myself any differently caused by these insecurities?
despite thinking that i might be suffering 'hyperhidrosis' and being an overweight young adult, i guess its inevitable that i'm not as confident as i should be or as comfortable with the way i am just yet.

but hey! not all big guys have the charm like i do ... neither do they have my unique characteristics..
even though it sounds like i'm stating that i am a superior overweight person
but yea, we'll pull up my esteem level step by step .

On 9:26 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, August 12, 2006

something i felt pretentious at first...
it seems so much different now. this could lead to a breakthrough for someone... maybe even an inspiration.

EMERGE KL is coming real soon ( a youth conference organized by my church CHC trying to be the largest conference ever held in M'Sia - tryin to beat planet shakers even)

and i took part in the personal testimony challenge. fearing the worst, contestant might add the drama in their story just to win the competition.

but hey, my simple testimony got me to the finals. what do you know? hehe.
will post that testi if i do win. ;)

On 11:18 PM, Victor let go.
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Friday, August 11, 2006
screw the bus

today morning was lovely...
woke up (unwillingly) from the best sleep ever!
at 7.00 am , i washed up and waited for the bus around 7.45 am.
the bus reached at 8.00 am. went all the way to KTM and stopped.
the dude told me " sampai sini saje, mana you nak pergi ? "
i told the dude " Sunway College?"
shitface dude replied me " oohh... tak ada pergi situ, turun sini "

my usual silent sigh " ..f.....k.. "
my usual mumble/ request to God " Lord... give me patience....f...k "
continued " You know what?! not today... "

so Cab-pool from KTM (triple the distance to Uni compared from my house) to University.

damn you bus 66 rude retarded driver!

On 1:39 AM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, August 10, 2006

3rd week into my 2nd semester at Victoria University and i'm already feeling the 'heat'.
i would never come to believe that i would actually feel pressured in this moment of time...considering that i did not feel like a productive and purpose driven university student even after the 7th week in the 1st semester.

workloads are starting to pile up and frankly, i have no idea how to deal with... work.

On 9:51 AM, Victor let go.
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Monday, August 07, 2006
monday blues

a b.e.a.utiful day indeed.
it didn't start off as pretty as i wished it would...
the bus ride i took from my place to University took more than an hour to reach.
waking up 2 hours earlier paid off in a way, considering it saved me Rm4.

anyways... i had 3 classes of the same subject - information systems for business. not fun.

in the afternoon, i tasted one of best fried rice i had in months at ss15.
at night, i went to the ever- packed ss2's pasar malam. my first time actually.. to ever walk in a pasar malam and the place was happening. After that, me and my friends celebrated Sutra's and Kheong's belated belated.. belated birthday.. finally a proper one with Cake.

(from clockwise) : Me, Hendra, Guo Loon, Swee Sin, Sutra, Riny, Kheng Yin, Fay and Kheong.

On 10:17 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, August 05, 2006
feeling lazy

Let laureates sing with rapturous swing
Of the wonder and glory of work;
Let pulpiteers preach and with passion impeach
The indolent wretches who shirk.
No doubt they are right: in the stress of the fight
It's the slackers who go to the wall;
So though it's my shame I perversely proclaim
It's fine to do nothing at all.

It's fine to recline on the flat of one's spine,
With never a thought in one's head:
It's lovely to le staring up at the sky
When others are earning their bread.
It's great to feel one with the soil and the sun,
Drowned deep in the grasses so tall;
Oh it's noble to sweat, pounds and dollars to get,
But - it's grand to do nothing at all.

So sing to the praise of the fellows who laze
Instead of lambasting the soil;
The vagabonds gay who lounge by the way,
Conscientious objectors to toil.
But lest you should think, by this spatter of ink,
The Muses still hold me in thrall,
I'll round out my rhyme, and (until the next time)
Work like hell - doing nothing at all.

a poem by Robert William Service on 'Laziness'

On 7:26 PM, Victor let go.
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Friday, August 04, 2006
Strict Dad

Hebrews 12:1-3

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Believe me...i'm trying.

Hebrews 12:4-6
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

.. 11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

oh boy... do i need focus!
during my quiet time, ridiculous thoughts would just pop up... such as
"why punish us?! aren't we all forgiven?? sinners saved by grace..no? "
but yeah, i should whinge no more.
had a long day... i'm off/
went out with my friends ... we had the best steambot ever! and watched 'the break-up'. disappointing movie really[not the most entertaining movie nor funny as i expected it would be] ... but watchable[if you're a retard. plz save your money. unless its for 'therapy' purposes] ...
anywho (can't stop hearing this, is it a new slang?) ...steamboat was off the shizzle!

On 12:11 PM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

as i gaze at the sun set... i contemplate on my deliverance.
Rev Mike Connell was in my church last night for a deliverance conference.
simple words he used... God's word, that was sharper than any double edged sword that pierced into every single person's heart.

We as believers are described in the bible as sheep.
just like sheep...
we have no sense of direction.
we follow crowds.
we are helpless to our enemy's attack.
we can not get up by our own strength after we'd fall.
when we're wounded, we wait.. as we bleed to death slowly.

that is why we need Jesus, our sheppard.
to guide to when we're lost, to love us , to protect us from our enemy, to pick us up everytime we fall and to give us eternal life.

deliverance... did i experience the manifestation of demonic spirits coming out from me?
not really... but i felt a release of some sort- a burden that i carried in for too long.
so as Rev Mike prayed (more of just laying hands on me for 2 seconds)... the holy spirit overflowed within me and the next thing i know... i'm on the ground worshipping.

my prayer- to have the passion for his word and his holiness.

On 4:26 AM, Victor let go.
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