Tuesday, October 24, 2006
self

'behind the back' drama.

when 2 bloggers have their own issues.
responding to each other's nasty comments about themselves.
behind each other back's through their blogs...
(just as i am...commenting on their self-centredness, stupidity, shallowness and unwitty effort of outdoing each other in being the bitchiest blogger)

no biggie, just a hypococrite thinking out loud... on how he had wasted his time on such pointless stuff over the net.


On 7:38 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, October 22, 2006
self

a faith stretching 5 months of 'Arise and Build' will certainly be a challenge.
a pledge of 1 1/2 month's if my allowance to my Church's building fund.

this I shall test God.
that I may live under an open heaven.

suddenly FROG means so much now.
Forever Relying On God.
especially its the exam season and pledge season as well.


On 4:54 PM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Creative Zen Nano Plus




finally... the mp3 player i've been waiting for.
cost me RM310. a rather good deal considering it is 1 GB.
am i now officially a music person?

finals are coming and i take this as an excuse to buy myself an mp3 to keep me company during my late night revisions in uni campus.


On 8:05 AM, Victor let go.
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Monday, October 09, 2006
self

call it 'Irony', or a " Cartman's God Damn it moment" ( not everyone has the Oprah's AHA moment).

i recently added someone to my friendster. a mutual friend of my pre U friend as well as my Tawau school mate's friend. She was rather friendly at first giving me her e-mail address without hessitation.

guess what, i was wrong! i just checked her blog and apparently, she mentioned me as a "stranger" ( positive about it) and how i wrongly suggested that friendster is a place to meet new people where else she felt that it should be a place strictly for friends to keep in touch and decided to change her 'who would you like to meet' profile into " only friends ".

in other words... she regret having added me as a friend. that is no way to treat a person with pure intentions of being friendly and trying to make new friends. damn~!


On 10:29 AM, Victor let go.
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Friday, October 06, 2006
taking people for granted

i take people for granted.
i'm not saying this in guilt or even in that tone.


though i hate it when people do it to me...
i suddenly realized that it isn't really that wrong afterall and just maybe, that's why everyone is doing it to their close friends.

which in contrary i feel... that close friends (close to a certain extent) should take each other for granted. isn't that why most of us do not have 'back up' when it comes to NEEDING a certain someone to be there for them when they need the person the most.

i saw an extremely brief portion of an indian film just now called flavour.
there was this part when two close friends of the opposite sex was having a serious conversation.
aparrently, the girl was getting married to another man . so she was talking about the person she was going to marry to her guy friend ( purely straight dude).

then the guy friend finally asked the girl ( after giving her his feedback on the other man the girl wanted to marry) " what will happen to me? " ... " you can't deny our relationship, we practically spend the day and night together everyday! "

the girl was like all " what are you talking about? " ... " what do you mean what will happen to you? " ... " i told you that i was going to marry the man already".

the guy replied " what does he have that i do not have that you would even want to marry him? " ... " i take you for granted!"...

so yah.. that's all i got. but i thought that it was selfish for the girl to walk away from the conversation -not dealing with the fact that her guy friend has no longer use in her life after she gets married in a more straight forward manner. that's " keeping the cake and eating it at the same time! "

taking someone for granted will lead to friends not appreciating one another.
not taking someone for granted shows the insignificance of a friend in one's life.

anyways, i spent one of my most memorable moon cake festival with my fellow cell members.
there was games, singing and a little too much food. Bloody haze has covered my full moon view. its gonna be a wicked weekend for me. productive one i'm sure. no choice really. so much assignment due... so little time.


On 10:47 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, October 03, 2006
bitterness

a real sweet heart, someone i cared for greatly
i've always been attentive and willing to hear her out.

knowing that she's now seeing another guy ( after coming out from a relationship)
i can't help myself but to worry about what she's getting herself into

i'm not in love with her. nor do i have intentions of having a relationship with her ...
but something inside me just wouldn't let me accept the current situation and just be happy for her.

the fact that i have no say in her relationship makes it harder for me to even think that i may be needed as friend even.


... i as a 'so called' friend shall be happy for her/ and i wish her well.


On 12:21 PM, Victor let go.
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prayer meeting

it's a joy to see the church coming back to pray in unity.
the church was almost full filled with 'prayer warriors'.
can't say there was a better way to spend my tuesday night.

about time i knelt before Him...
confessing my sins and praying for a breakthrough in my life.


it's been awhile since i showed love to anyone really...
i've been shutting the doors to feel loved as well.

the presence of God certainly changed all that.
feels good to be back at God's open arms.


Do not shut the heavens
But open up my heart

though my heart is dry, still i'm singing rain down!


On 11:55 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, October 01, 2006
updates

well. scared the shit out of myself a few days ago when i mistakenly asked for a transfer form to Monash (Aussie) when i was supposed to ask for a fresh application to transfer VU to Monash.

so yah. glad that i made that mistake. or else i would have fucking fooled myself for thinking that i can only 'transfer' for the june intake next year. wasting half a year away.


On 5:47 AM, Victor let go.
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