Friday, March 30, 2007
prayer walk

this morning i joined the CF's intercessor prayer walk.
prayed for the whole campus and to claimed the land from its filth, unrighteousness, godlessness and apathy mindset.

in faith, we believe that this will be the turning point of a great revival in Sunway and Monash.

before the prayer walk itself...
we [Liang, Beniah, Daniel, Kenneth, Hooi Tzing, Anna, Felicia, Zhen Wei, Jo] were just being still before the Lord... worshiping Him and submitting ourselves.

something Hooi Tzing said in her prayer struck my heart. " who are we to impress You?"

it's humbling indeed to know that The ' great I am' gave us the opportunity choose Him, to choose the one and only way... to choose the truth... to choose life over death.

we believe in such an awesome God...
its such a shame how often we limit His power and authority.


another thing that pierced through my heart while we were worshiping is my cynical attitude.
when we sang "open the blind eyes, unlock the deaf ears..."
i realized i haven't been seeing the bigger picture of God's work.

(thoughts)
ministries tend to focus more on its performance that God is left out from the picture,
we prioritize our peer's needs and try so hard to impress them rather than letting God work,
we succeed in becoming "Daniel"and so called relevant ...and forget about Jesus?

though His ways may differ from my preferences, i know now that there's more to it. Positive influence will happen... Individuals in the market place will make an impact as their success will glorify His work and favor over them.

things like these are hard to see. for me at least. not anymore.


On 11:04 PM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, March 25, 2007
self

Pastor Pet Mesiti said

" release your treasures to God and He will release His' to you"
and... " God is tested when your tithes are given but He will test you with all your treasures"

here's a thought. i have no treasure.
a "sad but true" discovery. imagine that...
i own no riches or wealth, no love, no glory or achievements, no future or visions...
whats there to offer to God?
this is in fact my "inconvenient truth".

i live a life of purpose no doubt...
but pressures and expectations put on me is becoming frustrating and unbearable.
i remember yelling " i hate my life! " just a few days ago [ i had my reasons].

if that's what i have to give up to God... believe me it there won't be any hesitating at all.
its a messed up life no one should ever go through...


On 9:27 AM, Victor let go.
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point blank

Ephesians 4:31-32
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

not too sure if i had read this passage before...
but this time the message seems more ... "point blank"


On 3:45 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, March 24, 2007
Medan incident

reading through my previous blog (cause John kept telling me how interesting and funny it is)...
how much things have changed...

from a Tawau dude who wanted nothing more than escaping the small town...turning into a local kid who wants nothing more than experiencing life overseas. gotta have exposure!

from the thoughts of a bitter and angry teen into a bitter and cynical young adult...
somethings just don't change. guess that's what defines some people.

today was wild.
couldn't wake up in time for my CF's intercession session, so I went university just to complete my assignment instead.

a funny incident happened after i had lunch with Guo Loon, Khiong, Miki and Kheng Yin.
before we left Medan, [where we ate] Guo Loon eagerly got a 'straight from the oven' SIU PAO while Khiong bought honey melon instead.

So Guo Loon was being his childish self and tried to hurt/annoy us by touching us with the hot hot SIU PAO. Khiong was happily eating his fruit and to his 'surprise'... he experienced Guo Loon's "hot touch" and reacted exaggeratively...
His' half eaten honey melon flew out from the plastic he accidentally squeezed( reaction) to a female student's chest area while she was eating... [ her expression says it all, pure shock!... ]

i had no idea how to react to such a spontaneous event ... So...
i started laughing... [In front of the girl] at the same tried time walk out from Medan ASAP.

Guo Loon couldn't be bothered and started laughing out loud too [in front of her as well] as Khiong tried to apologize to the female student.

one of the funniest incidents this year.


On 6:57 AM, Victor let go.
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Friday, March 23, 2007
house parties

house parties are Huge...
no extra charges on liquor, personalized invitation lists, available rooms for the young and wild, toilet for the drunks, no worries on driving home tipsy...
who needs to go club when you can experience all "sensational" feeling at a friend's house?

[this is going to sound wrong... ]

it was SweeSam's birthday and everyone was chillin at His place [ 7 floors above my place]
i missed the cake cutting session as i was late because of Cell Group and the mamak session after..

when i reached his house...
there i was, a bible on my left hand... a can of beer just placed on my right;
standing before the tipsy birthday boy... surrounded by beer drinking and skin revealing individuals with loud hiphop music playing on the background (all my guilty pleasures basically).

the irony where i was about to tell my friend that i had to leave early because i had to wake up early for prayer meeting in college while sipping on my beer... its just bizarre.


On 10:08 AM, Victor let go.
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KG?

even the most retoric question for any CF members must be answered.
KG stands for Koinonia Group. which means fellowship group in Greek.
i was leading a KG which consist of mostly Monash business and commerce students.

the experience was a rather fulfilling one...
getting to lead a bunch in serious discussions as well as getting to know them better.

hm, guess it could have gone better where people actually opened up and are willing to voice out their opinions... life would have been so much easier for me that way.

anyways, was such a relief to see Liang (Cf president) joining in the KG after his late late class. the atmosphere totally changed... it became loose.
"why lar? you can open up to me ppl! i don't bite... i was always the joker when i was a regular KG member... nothing's changed " Besides that, i was glad that finally someone who'd know if i did or said something wrong during the discussion.

my prayer: i need an assistant KG leader and a heart for the people.


On 9:42 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
self

it's induction week in Monash and we've been doing all we can to promote the Christian Fellowship... the experience is always a mixture of fulfillment and disappointment.

non Christians [ pre-believers] are not too fond of the Christian Fellowship booth...
we're considered 'bless' by even getting them to take a glance at us. let's just say i wished i could approach them without feeling like a total freak.

anyways, i was supposed to help out the booth today from 3 to 5. [which i did]
after everything was cleared and everyone in charge left the booth, i continued sitting there minding my own business ( doing assignment in fact) while waiting for Vincent to fetch me to Pyramid to get my hair cut [ ... whatever].

-before i continue, would just want to re-state that i believe everything happens for a reason-

anyways, when every booth in the foyer was cleared...
my fellow course mate approached me and told me how glad he saw someone in the CF booth, because his class have been ending very late and he has missed the CF booth for 2 weeks already.. apparently he's a backsliden Christian from a non-christian background. if it wasn't for me being weird and doing my work in that booth itself, i wouldn't have met him and 'induced' him to CF tomorrow.

-next update: my experience on being a KG leader-


On 7:25 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, March 17, 2007
bloggers....everywhere

the self proclaimed "most happening church in malaysia" is on a blog fever.
City Harvest Church Malaysia is encouraging every single member to create a blog.
there's nothing wrong with having a blog on our christian walk, daily lives and our deep thoughts...
but to encourage it just because it is IN ( smirk, not anymore) and relevant..
i don't see the bigger picture.

my first reaction was "are you shittin' me? "
why do everyone in cell must have one?
why does the cell leader want our blog addresses? all of us.. to check up on us?

its a freaking blog...
why make it sound like an obligation?

ow yes...
the once sickening thought of overloading blogs from the past has returned.

i don't compromise in my thoughts. if its bitter, its gonna be coming out bitter.
i'm anticipating loads of counseling sessions ahead.


On 8:29 PM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
eventful day

the last time i told a friend " tonight was a rather eventful night " was during the langkawi trip...
4 cars on the way down from a hill and 3 of the cars experienced difficulties and complications.
besides the bizzare tire sparks, the other cars experienced flat tires and engine problems.

tonight... i said the exact same thing to Timothy...
when our plans of watching 300 was disrupted by a minor car accident right in front of 1 U.
so yea, we decided to get it over with as soon as possible, reporting the case to the police station.
we [Tim, Gideon, Vincent, Daniel, Liang and I] ended up having a feast in Swenson.
believe me, its some sight to have few dudes going gaga over EarthQuake.

praise God for how smooth police report session went and everyone being safe.
i think i've been experiencing these experiences way too often.


On 9:21 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, March 07, 2007
not feeling it

second week into the new semester...
and everyone are starting to feel the 'pressure'...
students are making their move sucking up to their lecturers and tutors...
they are becoming extra friendly to their future study group members...
besides that, they are setting priorities right...by literally making studies their life...

seriously?

not quite. the mood haven't quite settled in... from what i'm experiencing.
not 1 student (no exaggeration) responded to my tutor's question (well, i couldn't be bothered)
not 1 student volunteered to read what the tutor insisted ( i don't see why the tutor can't read herself)
not 1 student did their homework (except me)... fine, maybe 1 or a few more only.
and I'm beginning to feel that all uni students are alike.

hopefully like me... study hard, play harder.


On 3:33 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, March 03, 2007
missing the point

one of my leaders from church called me up before cell group and turned our conversation into an uncomfortable one... well, for me that is.

my church's "arise and build" building pledge season was coming to an end and my leader wanted to pick members who received tremendous blessings so that they could give their testimony on how God never short changed them as they were faithful in their giving (especially their pledges)

i told my leader that i had a testimony (nothing to do with my pledge even though I've completed it). it was about the opportunity to serve in CF as a KG leader. but they needed to [quote] " emphasize on financial blessings or blessings from your family". thus didn't need me to share my testimony on that day.

confession: i couldn't be bothered to go cell group that night at all.

here i am, under circumstances trying my best to save my Dad some money; easing his burden by studying locally this year and demanding nothing more than just my monthly allowance... yet their idea of blessings are the materials which come from my parents. please.

confession2: went out with the gang instead. had the best time at Kepong. guilty pleasure?

Philippians 2:1-4

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.


confession3 : Looks like I am the one who have missed the point.


On 8:11 AM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, March 01, 2007
Don't try to figure it out

(Proverbs3:5-12, the message)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.

(Isaiah 55:8, NIV)
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.


On 8:30 AM, Victor let go.
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