Sunday, April 29, 2007
self

refreshed. challenged. disturbed.

the Sunway Monash Christian Fellowship camp was awesome.

to be part of the intercessor group that prayed earnestly for God to move in the camp,
to be part of the camp committee to see how God's wisdom helped us pull through.
to be part of the Christian Fellowship gathered together to encounter God's touch,
to turn back from my old ways and return to his path,
to be thirsty and refreshed over and over again,
to reach out to those who are lost.

on reaching out..

a friend's salvation.
i know. we can't get our way all the time.
we do our best in convicting, we have faith in God to do the converting.

it's one of the easiest thing to "put down the subject" whenever our 'non-believers' peers gets uncomfortable with the "Christian Talk". we can't blame them for feeling that way.

but each time we "put down the subject", its another lost opportunity for a person to know God. for one to know the consequences of a loved one dying without knowing Him,
what excuses do we have?
do we justify ourself as being 'understanding' peers or closed ones...
being the person they want to accept? someone who will respect their ways and belief?

so often we are so concerned with our own lives, putting everything else above God's work.
making this temporary life our priority and satisfying it with anything else but Jesus.
there's so much more we can do... there are just some things that can't be taken lightly.


On 8:03 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
show some love

today while i was on my way to the library, i stopped by the ATM to withdraw some money.
the ATM is located at the corner of my university's cafeteria.

the cafeteria was extremely packed and loud as the Monash University International Students Society had some elections going on. it was between two groups...'world' vs 'synergy'.

the 'world' group was having their performance first, so i went there without any hesitations. i stood out as one of the few malaysian crowd surrounded by a pool of international students.

there was this Bangladeshi -bollywood star lookalike- chic who performed with a guitar.
i thought it was pretty mind blowing. no one would have figured there was such a powerful voice underneath that sweet sweet smile of hers.

i've always been a sucker for bollywood stars look-a-likes. it a matter of taste which i still can't figure out. ANyways... the performance was great. but what impressed me more is the support she had from her committee members. they were cheering her name, singing along, giving her a standing ovations as well as giving her hugS (lots of em) after the performance. and that was in the cafeteria itself!

such love... such enthuasiasm...such a passionate bunch. i don't mind having such a crowd in my life...again. "companions"... those who are laid back, accepting, easy going, open minded, down to earth...such joy to hang out with. but they'rel only fit to be great company...nothing more :(



On 3:26 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, April 22, 2007
in disarray

there's small dent on the left side of my car.

i haven't got a clue what i hit or rather ...what hit me.

i'm somewhat confused at this moment of time.

it's the same feeling a woman would get if she found out she was pregnant; not knowing who the father is.

*pause*... maybe not THAT drama...

It's the same feeling a guy might have if he found out he was going to be a dad despite the use of 'protection'.

*pause*... hmm. maybe not.

my point is. *silent sigh*

bang balls ... like how am i suppose to explain this to my dad now.


On 4:15 AM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
Genesis

this conversation took place during our dinner session after Christian Fellowship

Richard : Hey, you read Genesis 1:20-28 arr...it says God created the birds, then the wild animals then only man right

Eddie: uh huh.

Richard : you continue reading Genesis 2 :18-19... God said 18“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

Eddie : yea?

Richard: so which came first?

Eddie : oh... animals were created by God already. but when God saw Adam was lonely, he BROUGHT those animals to him to be named. Eve was then created while Adam was asleep.

Me : ooohh. ya horr. eh eh, you read Genesis 1:1 arr, it says God created the heavens and earth. after that only God said 'let there be light' right?... that means God created the heavens and earth in the dark! haha

Linnette: No...

Eddie: noo !~ Gen 1:1 was an overview... verse 2 started explaining the creation of the earth in details. not subsequent events.

Me : (Thoughts) ish. my joke kena potong steam.

Richard : why was man created last arr...?

Eddie : So that man would have nothing to do with God's creation and cannot say that they played a part in it.

Me: that made sense.

Chien Aun : (changing subjects) different bibles have different translations and intrepetations... it's inevitable if any passages losses it's original meaning and significance. the hebrew version is the most accurate.

Eddie : but the significance of any pessages for us should be intepreted via the holy spirit.

Me: yeap. with the discernment of the holy spirit... a passage in the bible can reveal so much to us under whatever circumstances we may be in.

*conversation ended due to the arival of our food*


On 6:36 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
randomness

on the massacre that took place on Virginia Tech campus

the gunman was apparently a disturbed korean dude.
his anger and bitterness eventually caused him to snap and started a rampage.

He was an English major. He had submitted two extremely twisted plays prior to this incident.
well, i had the opportunity to read his 'work'. it was pretty interesting though poorly executed.

his first play was about the conflict between a teen and his stepfather. the teen was a rebellious child which was in denial of his father's death and had a strong desire to kill his stepdad. He incorporated real life stories such as the Michael Jackson's neverland ranch incident as well as the controversial issue involving catholic priest as insults used by the teen to accuse his stepdad as a child molester. the tone he used was extremely violent and the ways he thought of to kill off a character was " different ". but again, his standard of english as a student majoring in English becomes questionable. second play written was rather pointless and gross.

anyways, that was my take. it was supposed to sound sophisticated and deep.
if it wasn't, let's all agree that its the intention that counts. haha.

i was reading through CNN.com on this developing story and one of the korean dude's classmate blogged about his thoughts on the incident including his take on the korean dude's weird behaviors.

it was an emotional and honest post about losing some of his close ones and not knowing why this could ever happened.
the first comment on his post was a judmental remark on his level of english. i thought that was funny. then the 2nd comment onwards was a chain of reply to the insensitive blog reader who cared more about the level of english rather than the trajedy itself.

that made my day. haha ...the simple pleasures of life.


On 9:50 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, April 15, 2007
break

had a break from college for the whole of last week.
a well deserved one in fact ( debatable)
wasn't the most productive week for me, i must say.
but that's probably what made it so great.

to escape from the student's life and all its competitiveness and pressure.

anyways, it's about time i thank the Lord for a brand new car.
i must admit, i'm not the biggest fan of the prosperity gospel.
but i'll make an exception this time.
the fact that i'm actually driving is a breakthrough as i'd still be fearful of driving without Him.
well, i'm in still in the process of learning to have complete faith and courage.

i have been practicing ( self-refreshment- course) this whole break.
and for a guy who comes from the land of friendly drivers and roads with not more than 2 lanes.. [good ol' Tawau]

i just realized that i'm still having a fear, the fear of KL drivers.

getting a car never seemed 'likely' in all my 3 years stay in Sunway.
my dad never trusted me with a car
my brother's still bitter about it. disapproving of this since day one.
so yeah, it means alot to me... to own a car and having the opportunity to drive.

the car has been a blessing, no doubt. but i miss being in my comfort zone.
my whole lifestyle is beginning to change where i no longer depend on people's timing, bugging my friends and now even having obligations as a 'driver'.

it's been an overwhealming week.

anyways, i must get back to work. all my assignments due dates are beginning to surprise me... not so pleasantly.


On 7:48 PM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
fear

who am i kiddin?
I'm still afraid.


On 12:23 AM, Victor let go.
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Monday, April 09, 2007
self

heard the phrase "you're just a friend, nothing more"?
usually used by females to reject their guy friend (in the nicest way they can think of)
fact: 'platonic friendships' don't exist.
guys tend to fcuk things up and make things awkward for themselves.
[i'd put up walls if i had to, anything to not risk a friendship]

however, the term "just a friend" to me means something totally different.
it means that you are nothing more [literally]
it means to live a life of insignificance,
to lead a life that will make no impact,
to be a blessing to no one,
to be replaceable,
to be 'just a friend'.

the thought of me being judged, compared or even categorized breaks me inside.


On 5:43 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, April 07, 2007
no compromise

rebuking someone with the word of God is one thing...

making a friend feel rotten for the simple reason that they deserve it is another thing.
i am one honest prick who isn't afraid of being honest and telling it as it is.

as sarcastic as i am, i prefer to tell them in their face using harsh words with the intentions to cut, to sting and to build any individuals who needs to wake up and change for the better.

if you are in my position...
and someone actually tells you " i can't believe you just said that "
respond to them saying " someone had to "


On 9:06 AM, Victor let go.
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Friday, April 06, 2007
The Cross



Crucifixion for slaves, rebels, pirates and especially-despised enemies and criminals was considered the most shameful and disgraceful way to die.

In Roman-style crucifixion, victims take days to die slowly from suffocation (caused by the victim's blood-supply slowly draining away to a quantity insufficient to supply the required oxygen to vital organs)
The dead body was left up for vultures and other birds to consume.

The goal of Roman crucifixion was not just to kill the criminal, but also to mutilate and dishonour the body of the condemned
(source- wikipedia)

"the cross" was how the Romans display their authority; threatening anyone who dared to defy them.

it took one man to change that...
ever since Jesus' crucifixion, "the cross" have became a symbol of peace, grace, hope, forgiveness and life.


On 5:02 PM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, April 05, 2007
Kingdom of God

Mark 1:14

14 Now after John was put in prison, Jesus came to Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, 15 and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”

preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God?
...kingdom of God? how do you put this into context [ in a place and time we're living today]

someone said "Kingdom of God" in our time is equivalent to "the Al-Qaeda of God".
think about it...
during Jesus' time... Kings conquer kingdoms with violence...
things haven't really change since that time huh?

so when we talk about the "Al-Qaeda" of God, we're implying that we will be the ones bringing bombs of love, explosions of grace and the plane of truth to crush 2 buildings of deception.

interesting? i was blown away by Pastor Raj today.


On 7:26 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
self

the emo-ness...

this feeling sucks ...big time.
if only i had a group of girl-friends to have an ice-cream feast , just when i need it.

right now, the late Mitch Hedberg is my 'go to' guy when i seek comfort.
coz he says things like “It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.”

or something like

“I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...”

or...“I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.”

here's a link to his earlier shows.


On 7:57 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, April 01, 2007
thank God Friday's over

this is my very own catch phrase.
usually used after Fridays.

before Friday? i use a different phrase which goes something like " i hate Fridays"
simple phrases ... but said with full of heart before and after going through the day itself.

phrases like these are equivalent to your " what the hell?! " whenever you're 'surprised';
or " oi! bloody hell! your father's road ah!" when you need to;
or " i need to take a piss " when you really need to take one;
honest expressions..i call it


so what am I actually saying or expressing?
simple really
... i hate Fridays. i really do.
please don't ask why...
coz that would be like asking "why do dogs lick their own balls? "...
same reason. "because they can".


On 4:53 AM, Victor let go.
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