Monday, May 28, 2007
Extras

extras are usually part time actors hired to work in the background of a movie.


you know how some people are aknowledge as 'Tiang Lampu' when they hang around a couple trying to spend quality time together? well, those are real life Extras.


Life...can be viewed in two opposite perspectives.

you can either see yourself as the main character in your life story ( and everyone else are extras) or you can see yourself as an extra in the other people's lives.


i see myself as an extra. a pretty darn good one. (just like how it is in the movies)

an extra... could be a pedestrian, an ordinary guy who happened to be in the lift, coffee shop, library, bus stop, beach, university campus, party or on the road...

if i had more to do, i might even play the role of being the dude on the plane holding up a newspaper or the guy in a bar drinking alone.

hack, i'll even be willing to play the role of a war victim in an epic film.


but at the end of the day, who gives a shit? who gives a shit about the wedding singer on their wedding? who cares about the nurses who were there to help out their loved ones? who remembers those but the war heroes that too risked their lives and served their country?

they are nothing more than just Extras.


there's an extent to the level of significance one life may have. cherish the lives that you have impacted or have impacted yours. coz that's all that matters.




On 7:29 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
self

i admit. i am semi- worldly.

i'm comfortable with issues most Christians avoid.

i experienced most of the pre/non-believers' activities and found no true fulfillment in it.

yet, my heart is weak and continues to search for true pleasure in anything but God.

i'm sick and tired of the fact that i'm the only one among my peers to have religious obligations.

the expectations and the responsibilities as a leader is beginning to become a burden.

i blame the oversimplification of the word to cause my downfall...
words that are not uplifting nor inspiring.
words that emphasizes on prosperity as if that was the whole purpose of my faith.
(might as well worship Lillian Too)

the last time i was THIS negative was when i felt discontented about the Blog Craze in my church.
God rebuked me when i prayed that He would open my blind eyes and unlock the deaf ears.
He certainly did that... opening my eyes to how ignorant i was about the fact that blogs could actually reach out to the lost.

Now; however... i am dry. the sins i've commited has definitely caused a blow to my relationship with God. I know He has already streched His arms, waiting for mine... but i just won't hold.

i'm hoping that being 'semi-wordly' is different from being a 'lukewarm' christian.


On 8:56 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
it is finished!

almost.

just completed and handed in all my assignments.
damn right, i'm over with them annoying shitload.

now... final exams. Judgement day begins.
preparation for end times... hmm...

well, lets just say i'll be the first one to be judged ... i'm doomed.
i haven't really started. and its 3-4 weeks away!!!
now... 3 -4 weeks away (for me) is not that near... in fact... there's no need to worry or even aknowledge that there's a flippin exam on its way.

but things have changed. 3-4 weeks away now means... why do i bother? its too late anwyays.
well, maybe not so dramatic... but its near.

i'm targeting for credits and above this time around. damn i miss VU.


On 7:53 PM, Victor let go.
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
self

life...

can be engrossing, restorative, momentous, and elevating.

yet...
it can also be...

dispiriting and bleak.

i wish mine wasn't the latter, *silent sight*


On 7:51 AM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day

i wish my heart was as big as my mom's.
i miss her.


On 3:08 AM, Victor let go.
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Friday, May 11, 2007
listen

no one really listens anymore.

appreciate every single second of silence as a person's response to what you've just told them; and hope that it was what you said that made them contemplated and wandered.

can you remember the last time someone actually stop, listen and then responded to your thoughts?

well, the situation where we're all too familiarised with is when everyone have their opinions and waits for the right opportunity to put in their two sense into the conversation. It surprises me sometimes of how such conversations could go on forever. when its anything but intellectual stimulating.

what's the bloody point of sharing your views when there's an implied mutual agreement where noone should give a damn.

i observe very attentively. i am a good listener.
thus, i know those who knows their stuff despite having the shortest attention span towards others beside themselves. and i know those who contribute nothing to a conversation unless its a no brainer.

all i ask for is a pause. 2 seconds. 3 seconds. at least respond to what i've said rather than being in constant thought of what to say next when i'm actually speaking. its disrespectful... and i feel that its a waste talking to such individuals.


On 3:37 AM, Victor let go.
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Wednesday, May 09, 2007
time out

ECX is killing me.
the name for this subject alone give students chill.
it prepare us to have an expectant heart for all we'll need to go through...
and trust me, it sure delivers/ in that sense.

Economics for Information Technology and E commerce...aka ECX
now know as Economics of innovation and high techonology.

i'm supposed to complete this 4000 words essay/ report on a company.
marks that will be given for the essay is 40% of my total marks. thats ALL of my internal. damn.

this is suppose to be intellectual stimulating. but instead i'm blasting benny benassi's club bangers to release my stress. no brainer stuff... good for the soul once in a while.


On 8:35 AM, Victor let go.
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Saturday, May 05, 2007
self

i remember the frequent friendster messages i would send and receive from Angela (a long time secondary school friend)

i would tell her about anything including my weakness in driving and also my fear of KL wreckless drivers.

on one occasion, i think i was careless while another car was fast as hell...
no accident... just a " oi! " type of moment.

i asked my friend who was at fault? he told me that there really wasn't much difference as Malaysia had no law. i took comfort in those words.

i think i have been taking this too lightly these days.
i've been the wreckless one these few days. sigh
i hate ...me.


On 7:47 PM, Victor let go.
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