Friday, July 04, 2008
Self (one of my many reflections from camp)

Christine Lean,
you are my sweetest downfall;
the only reason why i can still put a face into your name is because i used to loathe you.

you were the girl who broke my spirit;
you were the girl who showed me that i wasn't good enough and hard work does not always pay off;
you were a great leader who once earned my respect;

you were beautiful, often a distraction to me;
i actually thought i was your favourite once; a 'self imposed'- false hope i suppose.

but after being on probation for a few months being on duty in SALC (English Language Centre) during my form 1 days, you picked the suck ups instead of me.

i always thought that was a bias decision. i ended up quiting when i had a chance to continue being on probation.
things haven't really changed much ever since.

i flight in situations whenever there are barriers i cannot handle.
i bitter-ly hold grudges on leaders who lacks integrity.
the equation of hard work equal success no longer existed, my efforts and my time seem pointless at times.

after reflecting on the significant events that took place in my life and how it has affected me till today,
i choose to forgive you Christine,
i has been too long and i think its about time i let go.
by the grace of God, i AM good enough.