Sunday, January 27, 2008

funny; how it takes only one person to change another's definition of beauty.
not so funny; how it takes that same one person to make another's world crumble.

goodbye seems to be harder word to say.

On 7:40 PM, Victor let go.
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
prayer request

this, i seldom do.
but i think that i ran out of options...
i experienced food poisoning last friday and ever since, it has gotten worst.
i still don't know what the cause was. because it was homecooked food and both my parents were fine. from diarrhea to fever to headache then back to diarrhea.

so yea, i'm physically drained (afraid to say, quite literally) and definitely could do better if you had to ask a rhetorical questions such as how am i doing.

do keep me in prayer guys.

On 8:05 AM, Victor let go.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

when i came back to Tawau, i had to update one of my savings account which i didn't activate since i registered for that kid's savings account. to my surprise, 20 years of my life's savings could be enough to save my life 'ONE day' if i ever need it.

Savings... everyone has it. and most people know what they want to do with it.
based on my experience with the people i've encountered...
the most popular reason for a guy to save up is to spend it on the modification of their cars.
for a girl, the most popular reason to save up is probably spending it during times of need...such as an unexpected sales ...imagine how helpless some may get.
some people ... well, SOME may even have plans to invest...

well, i just realized what i'm going to do with it. i'm going to save it all up to heal my own eyes.
thats right, all that savings... ALL will go into the laser surgery... well, better than having all that cash but blind. i just bought a new specs, might be my 22nd... who knows really. i lost count. wore 'em since i was 8 and changed 'em VERY constantly since; they had their reasons for calling me the Accident Boy.
but i know... one day... one day i'll be able to wake up with perfect vision not having to find my glasses or break one every few months.

On 9:53 PM, Victor let go.
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Friday, January 11, 2008

its been almost 5 days now ...since i came back to Tawau.
been spending time with my parents and my best friend Josh.
bumped into Angela. it truly made my day. not the first time we were in the same place unplanned
food hasn't been fantastic. haven't started my food hunt.
it shall begin tomorrow =D

On 7:37 AM, Victor let go.
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have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
i have ...not, but sure felt like it just now; when i was in a room with some old friends.
such a sad ending where we were once so close with one another and everything was great.

church politics... petty matters that breaks the unity between elders. who bears the burden?
its us, the kids of the elders. we don't meet each other as often and there's a barrier between us, a sense of discomfort whenever we encounter each other. a mutual understanding that shit happened between our parents but we can continue being friends... just not too close.
its a lousy feeling.

today, i joined a friend's cell group in my hometown. so happened that the children of all those that left my local church was there. THE HORROR. how was i supposed to know?! i knew they were in that particular church... but to be in the same cell... this was not what i had in mind! we still talked... small talked. but i felt like shit lar. here i am, visiting their church's cell when they left mine. what are they gonna think? i'm really leaving this up to God.

i still tell myself, in the end.. its all for the glorification of the kingdom of God. churches... it shouldn't matter. it really shouldn't. damn church politics.

On 6:52 AM, Victor let go.
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