Friday, April 28, 2006
self

this year, i missed the opportunity to join my Christian Fellowship camp.

i didn't sign up - knowing i will surely regret. yet, i couldn't make that decision.

i have made an important decision early of this year, which was to take CF seriously.
i was ready to take that step of faith to serve. and that opportunity eventually came.
... i was made head usher.

everyweek, i get to greet newcomers and welcome other members back to CF.
and before CF ends, i have to make a move to go for cell.
this limited my chance of really getting to know the students in CF.
i rarely get to socialize with them and now...

i don't feel like i belong. coz the new crowd (new people i greeted for those 2 months) is HUGE.
and i don't know their names neither they know i exist.

so yeah... my reasons for not joining camp is ridiculous. 'cause i don't fit in'...
if i join camp... my reasons for joining camp is ridiculous as well. ' to socialize with them'...
intentions and purpose are wrong.
I just think that having a heavy heart like mine, it's not easy to make a decision like this.