Wednesday, July 09, 2008
self ( more reflections from camp)

i am contented.

the speaker of the camp challenged us the write down the epitaph of our future tombstones to represent what we've achieved so far /how we lived our lives or what we expect to achieve in the future.

the typical epitaph would be "he lived a fulfilling life, great husband to xxx, loving father to xx1 and xx2" and stuff like that which you would expect to summarize a person's life.

mine would probably be " He did not die a virgin "
jokes;

back to all seriousness, i wrote in my grave that i'd one more year to live.
anticipating my death at 2009, i had the chance to reflect on what i could have done differently such as the unspoke words or my past mistakes.

honestly, i wouldn't change a thing. i was always a generous and genuine friend; i was always an honest son to my parent; loving brother to my siblings; servant to God; an impact to few lives. but for now, that is probably... "enough". i take comfort in knowing that i've lived my life this way; and all my effort spent on my priorities were 'worth it'.

(other thoughts)
results are out in less than 24 hours time. God has been telling me that "it is fine to fail", so yea... i am kinda ready to accept whatever that comes my way. was i not just saying that i'm okay with dying next year? results shouldn't matter! haha... as if.

life goes on. sigh